The Royal Rumble Disgrace

I just finished watching Rey Mysterio's 30th entrance at this year's Royal Rumble. Needless to say, the shower of boos wasn't instantaneous. There was a five second lag between the entrance and mysterio getting into the ring. That's exactly when the boos begun, thus signifying that the audience's dismay was in no way directed at Mysterio the person, but at their despair of not having seen Daniel Bryan compete in the rumble. Rey Mysterio was the wrong man at the wrong time. From then on, the only sounds that pervaded the air in the arena were of , "You didn't give us Bryan. Hence, we fuck and shit all over your Rumble. " The last 5-7 minutes(the most significant/important part) of the Rumble was a pissfest and poofest of boos. The stupid "NO" chants did not stop for a moment.

The final three combatants were  Sheamus, a down and out Reigns and Batista. The entire 2-minute duration of Batista-Sheamus encounter was filled with  emphatic and resounding "NO" chants. After Batista eliminates Sheamus, the rainfall of lamenting-boos seemed to only just have begun, and at one point as Reigns prepares to Spear Batista, the arena erupts with resounding "Roman Reigns" chants too eager to transform back to emphatic boos. The arena erupted again as Reigns spears Batista but finally in a reversal of bodies and fortunes, Reigns is turned and thrown full-force over the top rope for Batista's victory .

The Royal Rumble was never meant to be won by significantly or noticeably tiny men(both stature and size). Not Rey Mysterio, Not Eddie Guerrero, and certainly not Daniel Bryan. The only exception to this rule would be combatants of the size/physique of Kurt Angle,   Chris Benoit, Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart. That's based on several factors such as a minimum believable height(5'11 at least), charisma, long-term performance track-record, physique, mic skills, etc. C M Punk eliminating Kane, Roman Reigns, John Cena, or Batista and winning the Royal Rumble is believable. Punk might not be as ripped as Hart, Benoit , and Angle, but his stature and overall intensity/presence can still make him credible. But over all, the most dominating and intense superstars in history have been the victors of the Royal Rumble- From Stone Cold Steve Austin to  The Rock to HHH, Randy Orton, Batista, Undertaker, and Brock Lesnar. Rey Mysterio winning the royal rumble was a disgrace to wrestling, and him ever holding the WHC was a disgrace to guys like Sting, Goldberg and Ric Flair. No offence to mysterio, but that wasn't a cruiserweight royal rumble, and if a man's tiny and not a heavyweight, then that is what nature had for them. 

And then there is Daniel Bryan. Bryan might be a good wrestler, but in terms of over-all intensity, charisma, athleticism, mic skills, he gets nowhere close to  being a Kurt Angle, or Chris Benoit(average mic skills, was never a talker. But his machine-like speed and agility remains unrivalled to this day) or Bret Hart(same as Benoit). Heck, he is 5 fucking foot 8. Since when did the WWE Universe want a tiny little man who's not even chiseled and intense to win the Royal Rumble and headline Wrestlemania? What a damn disgrace. In an era of far better performers such as Antonio Cesaro, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler(Who's a perfect 5'11, if I'm not mistaken) , Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Rollins, and the HHH/WWE favourites Sheamus , Batista and Orton, why the heck does a mediocre combatant cause the Royal Rumble to leave such a distastefulness?

The YES and NO chants are the most stupid recurring phenomenon ever since 2012. It's one thing to make  Zack Ryder the US champion because he was a goofball with an internet show, and another to create discord and disharmony in the entire WWE product by those stupid chants month after month. Goddamnit look at Randy Orton. Sure he's bland and boring at times. But he's tall, he's chiseled, and he can wrestler. And certainly doesn't bombard us with YES and NO chants like a fucking retard.
And the Austin "What!?" chants? They were disturbingly unpleasant at times . It's a fucking Undertaker or Ric Flair promo, and the crowd wouldn't stop saying "What?". Then says The Undertaker "What if I slept with your sister or momma". That was badass. But at least Austin was a phenomenon and those What chants were amusing too, only insofar as Austin was involved in the said segment/promo.

I see a lot of physical similarity between Bryan and Guerrero(though he was much more ripped.). But ultimately, a great in-ring technician with a lot of passion and some demons to conquer, Eddie Guerrero was simply not a long-term main eventer. One of the reasons for that was his stature. Sure, he had his run with the WWE title, thanks to Mcmahon, and he deserved it too. But, think for a minute how he was booked to win that title. It took Goldberg to run in and spear Brock Lesnar, for him to hit the frog splash (which was only half as powerful as Rob Van Dam's  five star. What a frog splash!) to win the title. It'd have been a damn disgrace if Guerrero would've been booked to cleanly (no steel chair) and single-handedly pin Brock Lesnar. Guerrero just didn't have the credible size or intensity(unlike Kurt Angle, who has suplexed big show and lesnar countless times), but what he did have was fiery passion, and fervent promos. Guerrero could talk! And talk like a Ric Flair too, with his own lovable little accent. On an apex of credibility believability, Chris Jericho will always overshadow and surpass Eddie Guerrero and Daniel Bryan. (Simply because he's 5'10 or more, thus rendering his presence at least a little more believable, next to combatants like HHH and John Cena). Even then, Jericho was never quite the man. But he became one of the biggest and most decorated stars. And unlike some, he never caused a ridiculous one-word chant to allow him to get over and deserve a Royal Rumble victory.

After seeing how the Rumble ended, I have more sympathy for Vince Mcmahon than ever. I bet his reactions to the Daniel Bryan retarded chants phenomenon are more full of agitations than mine, or his kayfabe displays in the past. Well, good for a fucking T-shirt with a beard if it gets them some money. But to want or desire a tiny shabby combatant to win the Rumble and headline Wrestlemania over Batista, John Cena, Swagger, Cesaro ,Christian, Ziggler, Orton, Roman Reigns, Jericho, or Punk is beyond me.
Had they foreseen how the #30 entrant was going to be reacted to, The one way I can think of how Mcmahon would want to screw the WWE Universe(in typical Mcmahon fashion) would be to have Santino Marella's music play instead. (Imagine the hilarity, that music combined with the crowd reaction). Out comes Marella, walking like a faggot, power walk, or whatever he calls it.  Cobras everybody in the ring. Even Roman Reigns. That'd have brought some justice to the disgrace that was Royal Rumble 2014.

Now, obviously something is wrong with the WWE universe. No matter what they get, they always whine and show dismay. It's one thing for WWE to bombard our TV screens with age-old main-events like Randy Orton vs John Cena, or The Rock main eventing Wrestlemania twice in a row, and another thing for a pathetic arena crowd to defecate all over a perfectly athletic and intense Royal Rumble contest. When more deserving men like Chris Jericho did not win it (in 2012) and someone far less deserving as Sheamus did, where was this audience?


[On a side note, Roman Reigns is amazingly, ridiculously sexy. The long hair, the part-blankness part-fury emitting from his countenance and eyes, the stature, the valour  itself was more reason to like the Rumble than any long-bearded goof's absence. Roman Reigns is amazing.